Just check out of motherhood for a little while. My oldest son is facing theft charges from this summer. We were served yesterday with the papers. His adjudication hearing is on the 25th. Which we are hoping to move but, I don't really know if that is going to happen. I am suppose to be in Kansas that day. Its extremely frustrating.
He knows what he did was wrong. He admitted everything to the officer who questioned him. He wasn't the only one involved it was a group of them and they were basically doing it for the adrenaline rush. The mere fact that they could. Not very many of them are facing charges. It was a large group of kids and only 3 of them have been charged.
The adjudication hearing is asking for the removal of the oldest boy to state custody. They could win considering he has been in trouble before. I may have to walk out of the courthouse alone. I will crumble into a ball of weeping mess. I can't stand the thought of it.
The other thing is I have to ask for a public defender. I have no money to hire an attorney right now. None. This is when I feel angry and bitter towards the ex for not being able to help out. Right now, he needs financial help but, there is no one except me and hubby to give it. It pisses me off.
Part of me just wants to walk away from the whole thing. Just throw my hands up and say I am done. Hand off the kids to the X and hope for the best. Its not realistic though. Even if I wanted to he couldn't take them. I couldn't really leave them. It would destroy me to know they weren't getting the care I would give them.
I am just tired. Frustrated that they continue to put me in this position. Fighting to keep my family together. Fighting for some normalcy.
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