Overwhelmed

This past six months have just been so overwhelming. Too many things happening all at the same time. The twins arrived and my DNA test says that they don't belong to my sons. Of course, the other family wants to do their own DNA test which is fine. I am just glad that my boys aren't father's yet.
I started back to school two weeks ago. I have surprised myself so far. With a two year old at home I have managed to get A's on everything I have done so far. Yay Me!
The stress of the past six months had me ready to curl into a ball and now that things have calmed down a bit I feel like I can breath again. I am so ready to just enjoy myself for a little while.
Which means VACATION! Nothing big just a little trip to Branson. I want to zipline. I have wanted to do that for a long time and I figure this would be a great place to start. Very excited.
I talked to a friend tonight. I hate to hear her hurting. I hate that she has had to struggle so much in the past couple of years. Her husband passed unexpectedly one night and it knocked her bearings loose. I don't think she knew what to do. She was sunken in sorrow. I see life in her now. She isn't just walking around waiting for the world to suck her up anymore. She seems like she really wants more out of life again. She still has her moments though and I wish I could just grab her up and show her that she is such an amazing person. Show her happiness is there for her. I wish there was a way to heal a broken heart.
I still just want to curl up and cry. I'm not really sad just tired of it all. Tired of people intruding on my life. Tired of them to run me over. Wishing that they would just let me be. I don't go looking for them. I don't ask them to come be a part of anything. I don't create drama for them. I just let them be. Why is it so hard to that for me?
About this time I think I need meds. I start craving the feeling of numbness. A complete emotional shutdown. Wishing I could just turn everything off and sleep.

The sun will come out, I will hear the words "Momma, I love you", and the world will right itself again. It is coming...I just know it.