The lack of...

I have so much in my life it seems a bit ridiculous to complain about the things that I am lacking. But, they are major.
I have exactly two friends here both of which have two children(teenagers) and both have attempted suicide this year. It really puts a wall up between me and them because I don't believe they have the right to take their life. They have children and what they do impacts them. So, I don't really want to talk to them. Which leaves me with NO friends here.
My husband travels all the time. There are times in which I love it but, when you are lacking adult interaction it becomes a source of frustration. It just adds to my loneliness. When he is home we don't get much time together because little one is always with one of us. I have been trying to find ways in which we could be baby free for an hour or two but, neither of us are willing to hire a babysitter.
Little one also won't sleep in his bassinet, pack n play, crib or anywhere that mommy can't lay with him. So, he sleeps curled into me each night. Sex is impossible at this point and has been since we started trying to conceive the little man. In the past 15 months we have had sex exactly 3 times. One we were too nervous to actually get into and another that we were trying not to wake the baby.
I just feel like I am lacking in human contact. I can hold the baby all day and make sure he gets what he needs and yes that is human contact. But, what about someone caring about my needs or just having a simple conversation that doesn't require me getting onto someone.
I don't get depressed very often anymore. I have found ways to pull myself out of it. It really just eats your life away and doesn't do anything to benefit you. Right now, I don't feel depressed but it has been a battle to stay out of that zone. Now, winter is coming and I am going to be cooped up in the house I fear that I won't be able to keep it at bay.
We are planning to move back to Ks or Tx in a year or two. In Tx I don't have anyone to really be around so, I will be stuck in the same place. But, this would work better for hubby. Kansas on the other hand offers so much more for me. Family. Friends. A life outside of my house. Real adult interactions. Trusted babysitters.

I want to go home!